When your brain tells your immune system that a scratch is an injury, that a change of footwear is trauma, that a drink containing alcohol and maybe some grenadine or artificially coloured cranberry cocktail is worth going into anaphylactic shock for, something is incorrect and unjust with the wiring. When the hiccups cause that all-too-familiar tingling in your throat and an itchy, runny nose turns into your sinus cavity swelling and providing enough discomfort that your eyes drip with tears and you curse with frustration, something is incredibly wrong. When your joints swell and turn hot and red and sore and stiff, for no good reason; something is off. When you itch and scratch and lose your mind from the hives that are filling with fluid and covering your body, knowing that it’s only due to your recent contact with someone who has a bug or a germ or a virus; something isn’t right. When you have no way to explain your appearance to people other than “my brain has told my immune system that it is allergic to my body, pressure, light, heat, sweat, and fuck knows what else”, something isn’t fair. When you go through the nearly everyday motions of telling the next person that no there’s no found allergy and no you’re not likely to find one and no there is no cure and no there isn’t anything anyone can do about it at this point in time, you know that something has one day got to give. When you have to do your own research and provide the doctors and ‘specialists’ with enough facts to convince them that you likely have been misdiagnosed for years and this could be much more serious than initially thought, something springs into action and you become your own angry advocate. When you realize that although it is not cancer (blessed be, not cancer) you’re still treated with the complexities and confusion and mystery yet there’s no real treatment options because no one understands what is truly going on and why it is happening, something or someone needs to step in and give you hope. When you have to go on antidepressants because you’re losing your mind and feel like a hypochondriac because everything sends you off on research to see if it’s related to the “bigger picture” of the disorder, something breaks inside of you.
When you feel like it just isn’t worth the trouble and pain and suffering and looks and the same questions time and time again…something (or someone) happens, and you push through it.
Melody's Daily Writing Prompts 